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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25828810">Three Years</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/JeffrevinAO3/pseuds/JeffrevinAO3'>JeffrevinAO3</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 02:55:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>817</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25828810</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/JeffrevinAO3/pseuds/JeffrevinAO3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ahsoka Tano reflects on her past.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Three Years</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She wanted to scream.<br/>She wanted to shout.<br/>She wanted the whole universe to know her pain.<br/>Feel her guilt.<br/>Feel her suffering.<br/>Feel the torment she felt.<br/>Feel the burden she carried day by day.</p><p>It was not her place to judge.<br/>She had obeyed the commands of her masters, as any good defender would do.<br/>But when it came time to call choices into action, she had realized it had never been her who was being heard.<br/>Her choices had never mattered, in the long run.<br/>She had been violated, her sacred ideals twisted and turned into something she could no longer recognize.<br/>It was something they wouldn’t understand. They would never understand, not now. Before, perhaps, but now, never.<br/>This war, this conflict, had turned themselves against each other.</p><p>Ahsoka continued striding down the giant arched corridors of the Jedi Temple, her boots heavy on the tiled floors, the halls barren and devoid of any other Jedi.<br/>Her eyes were closed, but she didn’t need to see where she was going. The path to the stairs was straightforward. The path beyond wasn’t.<br/>This was no longer the same Jedi Order that she had been inducted to by Master Plo all those years ago. This was no longer the same Jedi Order that she had grown into, learned her lessons from, celebrated the achievement of acquiring her first lightsaber Kyber crystal.<br/>The Council had been deluded. The Younglings were now taught for war, not peace. The shining blades of light were no longer the symbol of safety and justice they had once been.</p><p>Rex. Oh, Rex.<br/>Her first friend.<br/>She hadn’t even had a chance to say goodbye.<br/>How would he remember her? A leap from a sewer grate into the Coruscanti unknown? A face on a datapad, her ferocious eyes digging into his? A face on a holoscreen, torn apart as she watched a fellow Jedi, a friend, admit what she had been framed for?<br/>All she could have felt was sadness. For seeing that what Barriss had said was true. That her friend had even resorted to destroying her trust in all that she had believed in to get her point across.<br/>Yet a part of her, buried deep beneath layers of Jedi training built up throughout the years, wanted to scream. It had wanted to tear its way forward, out of the recesses of her mind. It had wanted to sink its claws deep into the Mirialan’s face, watch her eyes fill with terror as she proved that she could be as relentless as the monster she had framed her to be. As she proved to the court, to the Republic, to the Jedi, that she was not the killer, but she had been turned into one.<br/>As had the person whose body she would continue to unceremoniously dismantle and butcher, piece by piece, bit by bit. As her eyes filled with hatred, with gleeful, sadistic joy at the sight.</p><p>She forced the thoughts to the back of her mind, knowing full well they would return. They would never go away.<br/>She took a breath, inhaling deeply through her nose and opening her eyes. Her sight flickered down at the streaming light, glistening against the elongated shadows, as she took her first step into it, casting its glowing rays onto her boot. The air was clean and new. She wasn’t sure what was different, but it was new.<br/>They were warm and inviting, beckoning her to join them.<br/>She hurried forward, inclined more than ever to do as they asked.</p><p>Her eyes darted left, then right.<br/>Her mind should have been questioning her by now, asking her if this was truly the right move, if this move was a certainty, beyond any doubt. But it remained silent, the product of long tempered emotional repression. Her montrals picked up the continuous pounding of her boots, the sounds echoing across the halls. Her breathing, barely controlled and on the verge of a blind panic. Her heart, pounding against her chest, it too wondering what she was doing, what would be next.<br/>There was no light, except for that of the sun itself, a golden glow upon the floor, crawling its way up her physique as she continued to step forth.</p><p>It enveloped her, its warmth radiating across her body, onto her face, the gentle heat a sign of welcome change.<br/>Her breathing steadied out, her pulse residing to a dull pounding. But her arms tightened, her hands clenching the opposite arm tighter. It was her move. It was her decision. She had no idea what lay ahead.<br/>Every step became a conscious thought in her head. Every step became embedded in her mind, the sound ingrained forever, more than even the voice of Master Plo, or Anakin, or the familiar sounds of the now-abandoned lightsaber.<br/>She took her first steps into freedom.</p><p>“Ahsoka, wait!”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Heyo!<br/>This was intended as a short story in honor of the twelfth anniversary of the Clone Wars movie, but I did actually write more than one chapter in reverse across the entirety of the series. Debating on rewriting a majority of them and releasing them as the days go along.<br/>May the Force be with you. Always.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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